Manage Your Expectations

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From The New York Public Library
New York City

Dear friend,

Manage your expectations. I’m sick and tired of always having my expectations broken by people so I figured out a simple way to never get my expectations broken again. I don’t have any.

You have to understand, people will be people. People are incredibly flawed. They are liars, thief’s, greedy pigs yet they are also absolutely amazing and very loving. People are all colors of the spectrum.

Now for you to expect a person to only behave in a certain way is asinine. People are multifaceted and their behaviors change. Nobody is going to stay the same forever. That doesn’t exist.

We’re always shedding our old skin and growing into our new one.

Having expectations for the way another person is to live their lives is crazy. You cannot change how a person lives their lives. If they are going to change, it will be from their own decision.

If they change because of you, it might only be temporary and it might also lead to them harboring resentment toward you.

Nobody can live up to your expectations. Not even you. You have expectations of yourself and yet there are times when you’re incapable of reaching those expectation as well.

There are times when you say you’ll do something, behaving somehow, or make a transformative change but you end up coming up short.

If you can’t manage to reach your own expectations, why do other people need to meet your expectations.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to have expectations. It’s just that some of your expectations are impossible to maintain. Here’s a simple one.

We get into relationships and expect our partners to never fall for any one else. And when they inevitable do, we feel betrayed.

It’s impossible to chose who you’re going to like. That’s something that happens without your consent. So to put an expectation on something you cannot control is just playing with fire.

The best expectations are on things you have control over.

You can have expectations on your behaviors. You can expect yourself to put in a certain amount of work, you can expect yourself to wake up at a certain time, and you can also expect yourself to perform such and such activity amongst other things.

Expectations are manageable when they are placed on things you can actively control. When you place expectations of things or people you cannot control, you’re playing with fire.

I hope you’ll develop better expectations after reading this post.

Until next time
Your man with manageable expectations