From the Desk of Abdoulaye
New York City
22:00

Dear friend,

Relationships are one of the most if not the most important things in this world. They’re so important it makes you wonder why they never bothered to teach us how to have a successful one in school. That’s a topic for another day. For now, I want to do my part and share with you what I’ve learned from countless failed relationships, and the few successful ones. This post here is a breakdown of what I believe to be the perfect relationship structure.

What’s Wrong With Monogamy?

Before we can get down to the solution, we must first establish the problem with the current ways of doing things.

The biggest problem with monogamy is the deception part. Look at the millions of users of Ashley Madison if you want any proof. Monogamy is a beautiful system on paper. You meet the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, you fall in love, all your energy and attraction becomes focused on them alone. Nobody else matters anymore. You have eyes for only them know.

Bollocks.

Attraction is not a choice. Just because you’ve found someone you really vibe with, you can’t all of a sudden decide to turn off your attraction switch to everyone else. It does not work like that.

To combat this, monogamous people play a lot of deception games. You might be in a relationship of ten years but not even know the person you’re dating.

They would rather lie to you everyday rather than facing the consequences of being honest about who they are with you. Is that really the type of relationship you want?

Another big problem the monogamous crowd faces is Jealousy. How many videos have you seen of women beating up on another chick because she slept with her husband? How many videos do you see of men fighting other men for flirting with their women?

Very toxic stuff.

Only in monogamous relationships do couples suffer from such insecurities that they have to look at their partners phones to make sure they are not stepping out of pocket. What kind of life is that? Is monogamy the perfect relationship structure? If it works for you and you’re happy go for it. If not keep reading.

What’s Wrong With Polygamy?

A common theme between the negative effects of monogamy and polygamy is jealousy, although a different kind of jealousy. In a polygamous relationship, a man has multiple women he is involved with at the same time.

This can lead to a lot of jealousy between the women who are all competing for that one mans attention. If one woman get’s more attention than the others, jealousy, hatred and envy will be rampant in that household.

Another issue with polygamy is greed from the man. Engaging with another women while you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to neglect the original woman you are with for something novel. If you’re unable to treat them all equally, provide for them all they need, taking care of them and making sure that they are happy in the situation they are in with you, you have no business engaging in polygamy.

Another disadvantage of a polygamous relationship is that it has the potential to lead to abuse. The man might aggrandize his self importance in the relationship. On top of that, he can threaten his current partners by saying he might replace them. This will create a messy situation full of insecurities and lots of tension in the relationship.

If you’re in a polygamous relationship right now and everything is working well for you and you’re all happy. That’s wonderful. If not keep reading.

What’s the perfect relationship structure?

Drum roll….. The perfect relationship structure is called open-relating. I first heard the term from Rakhem Seku. And after doing some deep investigating and experimentation in my own life, I realized that this was the way.

What’s open-relating you ask? It’s simple, it’s the art of relating 100% honestly and openly with your partner(s). It doesn’t matter what relationship structure you find yourself in, as long as you practice open-relating, you will achieve everything you want to achieve in a relationship.

You want to be with one partner only? Cool let your significant other know. You want to be with multiple partners? Wonderful, let your significant other know. Your significant other wants to be with multiple people? Wonderful. Can you handle them being with other people besides yourself? Why can’t you? Do you even want to? If that’s a deal breaker to you, it’s time to move on and find another person who meets your requirements.

You can’t go wrong with open-relating. You’re being completely honest and vulnerable with your partner. It doesn’t mean they will accept everything you say. And it doesn’t mean they will end up staying with you either. You could find yourself single. But at-least you’re not living a lie.

The number one cause of failed relationships is lying. It’s right next to dating someone who is not down for you.

Give open-relating a try. Practice being completely honest about everything with the person you’re with. If they decide to leave you, fuck em. If they decide to stay, your relationship will be stronger than it has ever been.

Living a lie is shortening your life. Don’t let it drive you to an early grave.

On top of that, you won’t have to deal with someone demanding you to unlock your phone and social media accounts to see what you’ve been up to. No more jealousy and getting pissed at little things that don’t matter.

You’ll have the type of relationship you want because you actually communicated it.

Who coulda thought honestly will fix relationships.

Ashley Madison would go out of business if everyone adopted this attitude.

Honesty is the way to go my friend.

Until next time
Your man

Abdoulaye